Entry 29:

I thought I'd have a bit of fun with the postal service again. Yes, I know I kinda overdid it last time, but what the hey. About a week ago I posted a letter. A plain, ordinary old letter; nothing crazy inside. It was normal in every detail, except that I addressed it to myself! It arrived with the post yesterday, and today I've crossed out my address and written "return to sender" on it. The sweet part is, I'm the sender. I've put it back in the mailbox and put that funky little flag thing up. I've always wanted to do that. I wonder what they'll do? Oh, I hear the mail-woman now. Yes, that's right, I said mail woman. There are very few mailmen in my town. I'm not complaining. Okay, she's at the mailbox. She's seen the flag-thingy, she's taking out the letter, and... Hang about, she's walking towards the house now, I'd better get to the front door. I opened the door as she was about to knock, and I could see I already had her confused. Like all mail-women around here, she was built like a slightly out-of-shape track & field runner. Calves like barrels, which is surprising considering they do more driving than walking. And all year round they wear the same thing: a light blue cotton shirt with knee-length navy shorts. Even if it's twenty below zero, that's what they wear. It's no wonder they go postal once in a while. "Excuse me," said the mail-woman, lifting up her sunnies, "did you post this letter to yourself, and then write `return to sender,' even though it's the same address?" "Yep," I replied. "I've seen some weird packages in my time, young man," she said, "but this one takes the biscuit." "Oh? Where does it take it, and does the biscuit want to be taken there?" She let her sunnies drop back into place, and stood silent for a moment. "Don't worry," I said, "I'm crazy. Would you like to see my certificate?" "No-no, nevermind. I'll, uh, just post this for you then." "Thankyou kindly." Then she mumbled something as she walked off. I gazed after her to make sure she didn't just toss my letter in the bin on the way down the street. Even I was surprised when she didn't. It just goes to show, no matter how crazy you are, you can never be crazier than the postal service. -CG.

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