Fantabulous Fondue Fluffup

by Joshua Blanc

Zigwop spent all afternoon searching for his fondue spoon. He had to find it fast, because it was nearly time for the mall to close. He'd looked in all the department stores, novelty stores, and specialty stores you'd expect to find a fondue spoon, and was running out of options. He thought perhaps he should ask someone. He spotted a gentleman sitting outside a cafe who seemed an observant fellow.

"Excuse me," he said. "Have you seen a duck around here, my good gooseberry?"

The man, wearing an orange and blue penguin suit, looked at Zigwop through a thick pair of glasses.

"No not, really," said the man. "It went that way."


Zigwop headed in the direction he'd been directed.

"That's funny. I don't see him anywhere. Perhaps he's hiding behind that duck over there."

He approached the bird, which wore an aardvark on its head.

"I wonder if you could help me."

The duck stood rigid.

"Have you seen a duck come by this way? You see, it has my fondue spoon."

The duck began to sweat. The aardvark perched upon its head squirmed and threatened to fall off.

"Uh, well," said the duck. "What does a fondue spoon look like?"

"It's about so long, maybe a foot and a half, with a plastic handle and a tiny spoony bit on the end."

"Oh. What's it for?"

"You haven't heard of fondue? Fascinating game. You should try it some time."

"I'll keep that in mind. So, a duck you say? Hmmm ... I think I saw a duck over at the beetle bar there with that chicken."

"Oh, thanks!"

Zigwop turned to go, but didn't.

"Wait a minute. Why do you have an aardvark on your head?"

The duck gulped.

"Uh, hat! It's a hat! A new breed -- hat aardvarks, they're called."

"That's interesting. It suits you, y'know."


Hat or not, the aardvark became fidgety again. It wobbled sideways and flopped off the duck's head, revealing him as the felonious waterfowl he was.

"Ah-hah!" said Zigwop. "You're the duck who stole my fondue spoon!"

"That's where you're wrong, buddy!"

In a flash, the duck transformed into a long metal object with a plastic handle.

"I am your fondue spoon! But I'll no longer be used to hit balls of cheese across your coffee-table! I want to scoop icecream, and baste turkeys, and stir piping-hot coffee like other spoons!"

"What are you telling me?"

"I'm done being your fondue spoon!"

Zigwop gasped, then ducked as the spoon struck at him.

"C'mon! I'll fondue you, spoon bender!"

The spoon hit Zigwop on the head with its scoop end. Zigwop ran off in resignation.

"Ha ha! I'm free! Free, I say! Fr--"

The aardvark, being rather fond of fondue spoons, ate it.

The End.