The hot water sure took a long time to run out this morning. The shower must've filled the bath thirteen times. The things I have to go through to get a cold shower. By the time I was done I was cleaner than a... well, something. Metaphors escape me at the moment.

Thought I'd go to the mall and fish the quarters out of the wishing pond, one of the advantages of being crazy is that no one really pays much attention to you. So I caught a taxi, and sat in the back. As it drove off, I suddenly felt the urge to hoot like a... damn, just no metaphors today. So I hooted several loud hoots at the top of my lungs and whenever the taxi-driver looked at me in the mirror, I'd stop. I did this all the way to the mall, until I spotted an old lady on the sidewalk.

"Get Bent!" I yelled out the window at her. She jumped and waved her umbrella at me as the cab pulled up to the curb. The taxi-driver wouldn't accept a roll of toilet paper as payment, so I told him to wait and I'd come back with a handful of quarters. Then I felt the sting of an umbrella hitting me in the back - the old lady had caught up with me. When the assault was over I told myself never to tell anyone to get bent ever again, and limped home like a metaphorically-challenged crazy person.

-CG.