March 2009

Special K

The doctor has me on a special diet, something to do with 'blood sugar.' I didn't know blood had sugar in it. Maybe that's why vampires like it so much… Anyway, to my point, because I do have one strangely enough. I had to give up Rice Krispies in favour of Special K. Now what I want to know is, what happened to Special A, Special B, and all the other special letters of the alphabet leading up to K? What was so bad about them that only K made it to the market?

More importantly, what happened to the people that had to taste-test the prototype cereals? Are they out there somewhere leading normal lives? Are they foaming at the mouth in some padded cell? Or worse, are they running whichever country they happen to live in and making informed decisions? Scary, dangerous thoughts. But I urge you to ponder them when you're scarfing down your next bowl of Froot Loops laced with Lucky Charms and bouncing off the ceiling from the sugar-packed multicoloured chemical goop rushing through your veins - making you all nice and sweet for the vampires.

-CG.